No one's life is easy. Everyone has his own cross to bear. I know you may not believe that. It's human nature to look at other people's lives and assume they have it easier than you. You base these assumptions on the face they present to you and the rest of the world. Not everyone walks around with their drama hanging out for everyone to see. That girl who always posts funny things about her life on Facebook never says how hard it is to get up every morning knowing she's still not pregnant. She doesn't want you to know. That guy who always posts pictures of himself partying with beautiful women never says how he wakes up alone every morning dreaming about the "one that got away." That woman who always has a bright smile on her face, the perfect clothes, the perfect body, will never show you how powerless she feels. And that woman who always seems to know the perfect thing to say or write to make you feel better without even trying doesn't drone on about how terrified she is about what she fears lies ahead in her own future. We all have something. And yes, there are people who are not suffering right now at this moment, but it doesn't mean they haven't had their share, or that they won't have a greater cross to bear in the future. Like I said, Life Is Hard! Not for everyone at the same time in the same way, but it's still hard.
There's a school of thought that suggests that we all came into this life with a plan. We chose the people who would be our family, our careers, our challenges, our lessons and even the possible times we can die before we were even conceived. Our free will gives us opportunity to make choices about how we get to these preplanned places in our lives, but there are some things that are inescapable...destiny. When you look at life this way, it changes your perspective on hardship. You begin to see it as a combination of a sum total of all the choices you have made during this life and the divine plan that you and God decided was your purpose. Hardships, when viewed as lessons, become a means to an end. Growing pains. Sometimes we are slow to learn our lessons. Some people can never see the higher plan and never get out of the ego-based, poor-me syndrome. Some people repeat the same lessons over and over again never learning and live a life full of pain.
I am going to share something very personal with you. I am scared. I see the road ahead of me,and it is full of challenges. I have much to learn. My future is an uphill climb. This is not pessimism. It is a reality. My guides have been preparing me and I am at the beginning of a huge transition in more than one area of my life. Yesterday, I fell apart. I slipped into a desperate fear based darkness and I prayed, tears in my eyes for help. I closed my eyes and breathed into a meditation clearing my mind. This is what I saw:
I stood at a crossroads. There were three roads in front of me. At the head of the road to the left there was a demon. I looked at him. He was the embodiment of my fear. On the middle path I saw nothing at first. Then I saw Archangel Michael swoop down in all his glory. He stood between me and fear. I then realized that my three guardian angels were beside me, Peter, Charlotte and Charlene. To my right I felt the Glorious Presence of The Blessed Mother. I heard her say, "Let it go, My child." She was speaking of my fear and control issues. Then in front of me, I saw Him. Jesus. Calmly, patiently reaching out his hand. I ran into His arms. He held me. I said, "I am so scared." Then I saw the path. There was Mr. Jones, standing at the edge of the road, reaching out his hand. Up ahead on the road there stood a knight on a black horse watching and waiting. He was not a "knight in shining armor" coming to save me. He was dark. His armor was black, dull and well beaten. He had seen many battles. He was not going to save me from anything. He was a Templar. One of God's knights assigned to protect the faithful on their journeys through the Holy Land. Like I said, he was not there to protect me from my battles, but he was prepared to walk beside me on this long journey ahead. I would begin this journey into the unknown. I had a choice. I could take the path of fear and walk alone, or I could take up my sword of faith. With Jesus beside me, the angels and guides to lead the way, I knew that even though the journey ahead of me will be difficult, I will always be supported as long as I walk the path of the faithful. God will always provide for everything I need. I know that. I know that with every ounce of my being. But I will still have to battle the fear. The demon remained the whole time. They did not destroy him. I tried to plunge my sword into him, but it was to no avail. He remains. I can still see him lingering in my periphery. Grotesque, and sinister.
The point is, that when I speak about surrendering to God, giving Him the reins and letting go of fear and ego, I speak from my own experience. I am not any better of than you. Yes, I celebrate my blessings openly and publicly, but I suffer just like everyone else. I refuse to surrender to the darkness. I refuse to walk down that path. I hold my faith. I step forward cautiously. I constantly pray for guidance and protection. Life is hard, but you never have to walk alone. I know my visions are Judeo-Christian based. They showed me what I would understand. Maybe you have a different faith construct. Maybe you walk with Buddah, or Ganesh, or Lakshmi or Abraham. That's not the important part. The point is, that when you walk in faith, the darkness cannot get you. We all have challenges ahead of us. If we didn't, we would be on the cusp of death. We would be finished. I am not finished. And today I am gathering my strength, and stepping foreword in faith knowing that I will not have to fight anything alone. I will not let the demons get me. And neither should you. Go forward. You will never be left alone if you choose the path of faith. You don't have to be able to see the bumps in the road ahead. God will light the way one step at a time. The trick is, you have to ask, and you have to know it's true.
There's a school of thought that suggests that we all came into this life with a plan. We chose the people who would be our family, our careers, our challenges, our lessons and even the possible times we can die before we were even conceived. Our free will gives us opportunity to make choices about how we get to these preplanned places in our lives, but there are some things that are inescapable...destiny. When you look at life this way, it changes your perspective on hardship. You begin to see it as a combination of a sum total of all the choices you have made during this life and the divine plan that you and God decided was your purpose. Hardships, when viewed as lessons, become a means to an end. Growing pains. Sometimes we are slow to learn our lessons. Some people can never see the higher plan and never get out of the ego-based, poor-me syndrome. Some people repeat the same lessons over and over again never learning and live a life full of pain.
I am going to share something very personal with you. I am scared. I see the road ahead of me,and it is full of challenges. I have much to learn. My future is an uphill climb. This is not pessimism. It is a reality. My guides have been preparing me and I am at the beginning of a huge transition in more than one area of my life. Yesterday, I fell apart. I slipped into a desperate fear based darkness and I prayed, tears in my eyes for help. I closed my eyes and breathed into a meditation clearing my mind. This is what I saw:
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| Altarpiece Of St. Michael, Gerard David |
The point is, that when I speak about surrendering to God, giving Him the reins and letting go of fear and ego, I speak from my own experience. I am not any better of than you. Yes, I celebrate my blessings openly and publicly, but I suffer just like everyone else. I refuse to surrender to the darkness. I refuse to walk down that path. I hold my faith. I step forward cautiously. I constantly pray for guidance and protection. Life is hard, but you never have to walk alone. I know my visions are Judeo-Christian based. They showed me what I would understand. Maybe you have a different faith construct. Maybe you walk with Buddah, or Ganesh, or Lakshmi or Abraham. That's not the important part. The point is, that when you walk in faith, the darkness cannot get you. We all have challenges ahead of us. If we didn't, we would be on the cusp of death. We would be finished. I am not finished. And today I am gathering my strength, and stepping foreword in faith knowing that I will not have to fight anything alone. I will not let the demons get me. And neither should you. Go forward. You will never be left alone if you choose the path of faith. You don't have to be able to see the bumps in the road ahead. God will light the way one step at a time. The trick is, you have to ask, and you have to know it's true.
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