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Wednesday, April 10, 2013


     Funny story. I was planning to write about anxiety. Somehow I have had a problem getting started. The "geek chic" special ed. teacher sitting next to me on my break says, "Are you anxious about writing about anxiety?!" Yes. I guess I am. What if I don't find the right words? Where is the divine spark of inspiration that usually sets me off? Where are my angels whispering in my ear? Maybe that's not what I am supposed to write about. What if I don't have enough to say?..... sounds like anxiety to me.
     That's the point. Odd how inspiration hits. I needed it to me pointed out to me. The thing about anxiety, is that you don't usually even realize it is affecting you until it has totally taken over and you are consumed with irrational fear and doubt. Obsessively asking questions from the universe about how or why or when or what if. For some people, it can be completely debilitating. Stopping you in your tracks and causing you to retreat to a safe place where nothing ever changes. Some people are so paralyzed that they cannot even leave their homes. This is tragic.

     What Anxiety is: (Assuming you have faith in an all powerful, benevolent God) Anxiety is the illusion that somehow God will make a mistake. (Or, if not God) That somehow the universe is broken today and the perfection that usually organizes situations and people in our lives has become defective and somehow you are not where you are supposed to be. Anxiety is believing in the impossible. It is a lack of faith. It is nothing more than fear of the unknown. Faith is stepping into the unknown knowing that no matter what, you will be okay. Everything will work out for the best. Fear is the opposite of that. Anxiety is the physical manifestation of this fear: nervous stomach, shaking, throwing up, racing heart, sudden need to use the bathroom, and in extreme cases, full on panic attacks. Anxiety is the bondage of fear. It is the ego futilely believing it has to control outside forces, and when it realizes that it cannot, the fight or flight instinct kicks in, and you find yourself in a place of darkness. You can only control your own behavior. Remember that.

     Anxiety's nemesis? Clarity. The first step to conquering it is seeing it for what it is, recognize, "I am experiencing anxiety." Then look at it. You have already begun to destroy it. Once you acknowledge that it is just fear, you are no longer believing the illusion. You are seeing that it is plaguing you. The next step is to get it to stop. Begin by taking a step back. Identify what you are really worrying about. What is the source of this illusion? What is the worse case scenario? If that happens, will you be supported by family or friends? Could you ever be abandoned by God? Even is the end result brings challenges, do you really believe you can't handle them? People survived the Holocaust. You can handle this!
     Breathe. Slowly and deeply. Breathe in light and out dark. Fear is darkness. Sit on the floor. Feel the support of the earth. Let the negative energy sink into the ground. Feel healing green light come up from the floor and surround you. Pray. Whatever prayer you know or like. I usually pray for "the clouds of illusion to be pushed aside so I can find clarity." It doesn't matter who you pray to. I pray to God, but I often call on Archangel Uriel who is the "light of God." He illuminates the darkness. But you can also say a mantra (Shanti, Shanti, Shanti....) Ask Jesus. Ask Mary (I often pray the Rosary when I need Her strength). Ask your favorite Saint or ascended master. Or just feel a oneness with the earth. The act of breathing and sitting (grounding) brings you into the present moment. Anxiety is rooted in the ambiguous future. Clarity is rooted in the present moment. Focus on where you are now. You are safe now. Everything is as it should be. God will take care of the rest. Let the clarity wash over you as you realize you will always be supported. There will always be a solution. Nothing is ever as bad as it seems. You KNOW that. In your core, you know it. Stay present. Focus on the step in front of you. Don't look up the staircase, it will seem impossible. It's not. One breath at a time. When every breath fills you with love and light, there is no room for darkness.

The stairs may seem daunting, but there is light at the top, not dark.

As always, I wish you well. Remember, faith is always the answer.


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