Abbodanza!

     A few years ago (okay, 21 years ago...ugh) my sister got 2 tickets to see her idol, Liza Minnelli in concert. My mom was going with her, so my dad and I decided to take a ride into the city for a "Daddy date," and we got tickets to the only Broadway musical at the time that he was willing to tolerate, "The Most Happy Fella." All I remember about it was that it took place in Italy, (which is the ONLY reason he wanted to see it) and it opened with a song called, "Abbodanza," which means abundance in Italian. The cast was singing about being grateful for abundance. Ever since then, I use that word in my inner monlogue whenever I am feeling blessed about the abundance in my life. Thanksgiving dinner, for example. Recently, in my meditations and prayers for guidance, I frequently receive the same recurring messages:

Focus your intentions, Melissa. Think about what you want, not what you lack. See what you want, let go of worries. Surrender and release your concerns to God and know that everything is taken care of. Focus on abundance. Watch your thoughts. You are manifesting what you think about. Only think about what you want, not what you lack.

"Yes, I understand. I hear you. I am grateful for all that I have," I say. I did the whole, make a list of everything you want to manifest thing. I told other people to do it. I understood. Thoughts carry energy. "You bring about what you think about." Stay positive and you will manifest positive things. I even wrote about this 2 1/2 years ago (All You Need Is Love). I did understand, but I didn't comprehend. I thought I did, but I really didn't. I was frequently worrying about money, and things were getting frighteningly worse by the week. I was asking for help. I was asking for guidance, and naturally, it came when I wasn't expecting it.
     I was at work grading state assessments.  My friend, *Genie, was sitting across from me. Genie has been a sort of mentor for me. I passed a remark about my money troubles and she offered some advice. I said, "I know, but I am not that worried because like I always say, we always get by." She looked at me and said. "If that's what you say, then all you'll ever get is 'by.' You don't want to just 'get by.' You want to thrive." OMG!  LIGHTBULB! (I was actually finding lightbulbs for a couple of days. I know... only me.)

This one was on my kitchen
counter when I got home.

 She was right. I was manifesting living week to week. So I wrote down an affirmation. "Thank you, God, for helping me with my financial problems." She looked at it and shook her head, "You mentioned problems. Too negative." Okay, let me try, again "Thank you God for giving me more than I need." She shook her head again. "You mentioned need." She took the pencil. "I am grateful for abundance." (In my head I heard, abbodanza!)  "It's simple and positive,"  she said, "and abundance can come in many forms." Perfect. I took the pencil and wrote it down myself.

I found this 2 weeks later when I was paying my bills. It snuck it into a pile of  bills to be paid. A little reminder from my guardian angels. (Which I needed.) I added the top part that day, "I am grateful that we always have more than enough to share."

I went home and chanted it. I was focused on saying it over and over again. I wrote down 9 times and burned it. I WILL MANIFEST ABUNDANCE. (That's the witch in me. When I want something, I focus my intention and I manifest it.) Now, short of winning the lottery (which I never play), I understood that the manifestation of cash would take time and work.  Manifestation comes in the form of ideas and opportunities for financial growth. The angels, however, know that I need constant validation (a flaw in my faith, I know, but I am working on it) and they also know that I have a sense of humor, love irony and that I especially love it when they surprise me. Over that weekend, I noticed that I kept finding pens everywhere. In my car. On the floor. In my bedroom. Pens were popping up everywhere. It became comical. I had a flashback of myself at my desk like a week before yelling about the fact that I could never find a pen, "WHY DON'T I EVER HAVE A PEN?! GRRRRR!" OH, I never had a pen because I kept saying THAT. Now I am finding pens everywhere. On Monday, I opened my desk drawer.  There were BOXES of pens and pencils in there. Wait a second, last week Dawn was cleaning up from the grading and said she was going to leave all the pens in my desk because she didn't know what else to do with them... that was the same day I was writing "I am grateful for abundance" with Genie. 

Did you think I was exaggerating?

ABBODANZA! 

     I had an abundance of pens. I now have pens and pencils everywhere: 2 or 3 in my car, like 5 in my pocketbook, maybe 100 in my kitchen...  Now I keep saying, "I always have pens," and I do.






     Suddenly I got it. It clicked. It didn't stop there. Remember my rosebushes from last month's, Lessons From My Rosebush)? I have never seen so many roses in my life. I have an abundance of roses.

   

Abbodanza!

      Yesterday, I was reorganizing my Angel-baby's closet. I counted 36 t-shirts. Who needs 36 t-shirts? Abbodanza. She has an abundance of clothing. (Thanks to Grandma!) That's when the second part of the lesson kicked in. It's more than just saying that you are grateful for something you want to manifest. It's more than just writing and saying the words. The second part is seeing the abundance you already have and truly being grateful for it. When you are grateful, you are focusing on your blessings, you manifest more blessings. It's like a positive feedback loop in your endocrine system. The hormone produced stimulates the gland to make more of that hormone. The more hormone you have, the more you make. The more blessings you count, the more blessings you receive. (Were you wondering when I would add the science? You were, weren't you? Anyway...) Now I say I am grateful for everything I want more of.

I am grateful for my good health.
I am grateful for fearless open hearted love.
I am grateful that I always hear my divine guidance.
I am grateful that I always know how to help others.
And my favorite, I am grateful that I always have more than enough to share.

Because the fact is, I AM very blessed. I am surrounded by love. My basic needs are always met, and I get the joy and privilege of doing God's work in some small way every day which fills me with a joyful overflow of love that is beyond description. I know that He will always provide, and I recently learned a lesson in receiving that I will share in a future posting that has opened my mind and heart to a bright new future where everything will be very different for me and my family. I am so blessed! And so are you. Open your eyes to the abundance around YOU. What are you grateful for? Say it out loud right now. Find something, anything and thank God for it. If you are truly grateful, you will manifest more of those things. I promise.

As always, I wish you all love and blessed joy. May you all experience ABBODANZA. I am so grateful that so many of you "like" and "share" my page on facebook and twitter, and help me get my messages out to the world! And as always, my love for you is "greater than 3."

>3!   

*Genie is not her real name. In fact, she's more of an angel than a genie. 0:-)

I'm Jumping Off The Bridge!

     I am a dreamer. I dream every night. Vivid, complex meaningful dreams. Sometimes I am in the dreams. Sometimes I am not. If I don't like a dream, I can stop it and wake myself up. My dreams are significant and highly symbolic. I see the world symbolically, so my guides often speak to me through my dreams because they know that I will understand.

This is the Throgs Neck bridge that spans NYC's East River.
It frequently appears in my fear dreams
Image from: http://www.nycroads.com/crossings/throgs-neck/

    I have always had these dreams about bridges. They vary in theme. Sometimes I am in a car, sometimes I am walking. The bridge is always over a raging river (usually the East or the Bronx which are both very deep with strong currents), and I am always worried in the dream about either getting lost once I get to other side of the bridge or I am paralyzed with fear as I cling to the structure. These are my nightmares: getting lost in the Bronx, driving off the bridge with my children in the car sinking into the river, or just falling into the river alone. Do you get the symbolism here? 

     I am a bridge crosser.  I always have an idea where I want to be in life.  I make a decision that I am going to cross the bridge to get there. I decide, then I go, but I never make it over the bridge. When I know I want something, I decide to make it happen. I start across the bridge. However, as I have learned many times, I do not have that much control. I can try to cross the bridge, but I always end up in the river forced to go with the flow. I always get what I want, but often it comes in ways I don't expect. You see, I THINK what I want is across the bridge, but it's really down river. When I am on the bridge, I have the illusion of control. Then I end up in the river where I have no control, and then I get there anyway.

    Last night I dreamt that I was on a boat with my dad. I wasn't piloting it, I was a passenger. We were speeding along this super fast current and I couldn't help but notice all the bridges. Were were zipping along with the river going under all different types of bridges. I couldn't believe how fast we were getting to the city and I said to him, "I never knew this was here. What a great way to commute."  When I woke up this morning, I knew that there was something significant about the fact that I was suddenly racing to my destination by going under the bridges. I recently made a decision to stop chasing my destiny. I have an idea what's down the river for me. It's something wonderful. Something really big. And I have been working very hard to get what I want. Too hard. I have been trying to cross  bridges. I finally understand that I am supposed to be in the river. The river, that I have been so afraid of drowning in is faith. Now I am on course racing to my destiny. I have faith that my prayers have been heard and that as long as I follow the voice in my gut, live with an open mind and an open heart, the river will take me to where I need to be quickly and effortlessly.

     There are 3 types of people in this world. Bridge crossers (who are in constant struggle), floaters (who everything always just seems to fall into place for), and runners. I know a couple of runners. Runners dip their toes in the river. They float along for a bit, but every time the river brings them close to their desired outcome, they get out of the river and run. They run as fast as the can from the love of their lives, the new job opportunity, the weight loss program..... whatever it is that is their deepest desire. Runners fear change. Runners fear everything. Eventually they get tired of running and get back in the river. They float along towards their destiny, but as soon as they start to feel something good, they get out and run again. Some people spend their lives running. This is tragic. God will keep giving them what they need to break the cycle. Some runners will eventually figure it out and take the leap of faith. 

     You don't have to be a runner for the rest of your life. You don't have to be a bridge crosser either.  Normally, I would say that if your friends told you to jump off a bridge you shouldn't, but today I am saying, "JUMP!" Please jump. Your life will become so much easier if you just jump and let the river take you. God will always give you what you need to thrive. God will always surround you with people who love you. You just have to accept the gift. Will you? Or will you run and hide in the cave with Plato watching shadows on the wall in fear while life's magick happens without you? You make a  choice to be unhappy. You make a choice to live in fear. 

     There is a reason why John baptized Jesus in the river. Even if you are not Christian, you can see the beauty of that symbolism. (I thought about making a joke here about being in "de-Nile" of your inner wisdom, but decided it was too corny.) Just let go. Listen to your heart and know that you will always be okay. Fear is just the illusion that somehow God might make a mistake. If you believe in an all powerful perfect God, there is never any reason for fear.... just faith.

As always, I wish you love and happiness. I pray that you will get your feet wet and let the current take you to where you have always been meant to be.

>3!

http://www.nycroads.com/crossings/throgs-neck/